Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dear Eddy, 13 months

Dear Eddy,


When I was packing away Christmas decorations I came across a card from a former student that was signed "I love you OKAY." It made me smile just as it did when she gave it to me years ago. She wasn't a girl that wore her heart on her sleeve so I held onto those words and I certainly believed them since she sealed them with an emphatic OKAY.

I asked your dad a few weeks ago if he thought you loved us, if you know what love is. He said he wasn't sure but we agreed that you are happy when you're with us. I know that you need us and that we bring you all of your comfort but do you love us?

It occurred to me that when you do know in your heart what love is that you will still never know how much I love you. I know that children love their parents and that this love sees many changes and forms as it grows and matures but because you did not love me from a seed as I did you and since you are my child, you will never know how full my love is.

Someday you may become a parent and maybe then it'll occur to you that the love you feel for your own is the same love that I feel for you. It is a love that is limitless, boundless, always expanding.

In the time that I have known you, I have thought that today couldn't get better and that my heart cannot hold more. But then tomorrow comes and I prove myself wrong. I wonder if time has to speed up when you are a parent because if it were to move through each day slowly then we might be too overwhelmed with all the love packed into the small moments.

There is enough love in every day, every hug, every laugh, every fall, every bump, every tear, every thing big and small - enough love to fill an ocean.

I hope that you will know this always and that you will grow to understand it.

For now, just trust me when I say I love you OKAY.


Love,
Mama




3 comments:

  1. Very sweet post. I've also asked my husband a similar question along the lines of whether our Paddy knows he loved. However way you cut, I think they know. =) I am also in love with the squirrel tape dispenser below.

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  2. Aww so sweet. Since Eva was born, I always think about how I never really understood my parents' love for me until now.

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  3. thses posts are so sweet- I am amazed by something new everyday- and it all happens so fast, if you dont' document it there is no way you will remember.

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You look really pretty today.

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