Monday, November 19, 2012

Dear Eddy, Month 10

Dear Sweet Boy,

Month 11 is very, very quickly approaching so this note is passed due. Month 11. My goodness.

A few months ago, I began training for a half marathon for the second time in my life. The first time was about 3 years back, training was spotty and after the race was completed I hit a few bumps in the road and totally fell off the wagon. This time around has been much better and I'm excited every time I reach the end of a run and realize that my body carried me the whole way and that I didn't die. I've heard people compare long distance running to child birth and I will say that there have been many challenging moments so far when I think back to the day that I pushed you out and I tell myself, "Don't stop. Don't stop." Seems to be working so far.

So, running and me are not soul mates or sole mates or anything remotely cute. We pretty much just tolerate each other. However, I do have to give running some credit. It allows me time to work out thoughts, plan ahead, and resolve problems. I think about what we should have for dinner. I think about Papa and if we've recently had an argument I will realize that it wasn't a big deal after all. But mostly, I think a lot about you, and about the person that you are becoming, about the kind of mom I have become and the kind of mom I want to be, about how you change everyday and how that change seems to have reached a fever pitch.

Despite advice I've gotten from running pals and training coaches, I plug into music while on my long runs. In years past, I spent significant time planning my running playlists - what I needed to hear at the beginning, middle, and end of a run - but recently I leave the mix up to Pandora and The Talking Heads station seems to generally match my pace. There is, of course, a hefty portion of David Byrne & Co., along with a little of The Cure, some David Bowie, The Cars, and Velvet Underground. And then there is also Paul Simon, who is responsible for more than a few lumps in my throat while I pound the pavement.

You and I listen to a lot of Paul Simon around the house. When You Can Call Me Al comes on during a run, I can see you bobbing in your high chair, finding the beat. This is one of your newest skills and perhaps my favorite yet. We have our own version of this song that we sing while we eat lunch together - "If you be my bodyguard I can be your long last pal. I can call you Eddy and Eddy you can call me, you call me mom."

During Mother and Child Reunion, I fast forward to you in college, road tripping with Papa (hopefully not too far). I can't see what you look like when you're all grown up but I know that I am proud of you and that the pride overshadows how much I miss you. You're not even a year old and I already miss you when you're at college.

And Loves Me Like a Rock just pretty much sums up my whole heart.

My mama loves me, she loves me, she get down on her knees and hug me. 
Oh she loves me like a rock! She rocks me like a rock. 
Oh baby, she love me love me love me love me.

I love that we are already creating our soundtrack and I know that it will continue to grow as you do.

Thank you for giving me a sweet distraction during those long runs. It is greatly appreciated and I don't think I could do it without you.

Sweet view.

The best running partner.

But, oh man, if I hear "Ground control to major Tom" one more time...


  1. Love this, thank you for sharing, made me smile so big and laugh at times. :) Oh how Eddy will appreciate this.

  2. every single time i hear "you can call me al" on the radio i always think of kacie case and smile. now, i will think about kacie case and sweet eddy! i can't wait til the next time i hear it.


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